A Guide for Consumer Choice in Your Next Mortgage
When looking to purchase or refinance your home mortgage, one may find it responsiblle to contact a mortgage company such as Winterwood Mortgage Group, LLC, for example, before considering a new home loan. Upon reaching someone for a pre-approval or new refinance, you may be told to hold off on any new debt and/or quitting your job. In fact, this is a normal policy here at Winterwood. Or, you may call up your bank and ask a few questions to which their responses may be similar - "You should keep your credit and income situation stable from this day forward until we close your loan, or else we may have problems."
So, in the interest of obtaining that new home loan, you begin to act as a responsible citizen - minding your P's and Q's - because only then will this transaction follow through. Like a team working together for one common goal, you agree with your Loan Officer that you will abide by his/her rules (whether your know it or not is in the paperwork). Moreover, the consequences of not could be catostrophic. Follow my lead here as I walk you through the Four Consequences of Not Listening to Your Mortgage Loan Originator. Grab your wine and cheese plate, this may escalte quickly.
I am a child of the 1990s. I went through elementary school in the mid to late '90s, then on to middle and high school in the early 2000s. As part of my Public School teachings, I learned what the acronym T.E.A.M. stood for - Together Everyone Achieves More - which holds true to this day.
Notice how this group of young people (I say young just based on their arms and hands and dress code) are preparing to take on their next challenge. They are all in with each other. That is EXACTLY how you should be as a party to a real estate transaction - ALL IN.
Work as a T.E.A.M. to achieve the final goal - to close on your new home loan. Whether you are refinancing (and working with the lender solely) or purchasing (then you have a much larger T.E.A.M. to work with), it should be your goal to win the race and complete the match. Let me start by breaking down the acronym one letter at a time. From there, you will get the consensus that failure is not an option if you work as a T.E.A.M.
T for TOGETHER:
For centuries, teams have existed in one way, shape, or form. Most of them have been on the battlefield. Then, sports were created. This Summer 2016, Rio Di Jinero, Brazil refreshed our minds on Olympic sports - first individual, then team. What do we mean by "Together" when it comes to a T.E.A.M.? The answer is simple - as a group of multiple unit entities, we unite "together" to act as one. The same holds true for mortgage transactions.
We are made up of five parties in purchase transactions - the Seller, The Seller's Agent, the Buyer, The Buyer's Agent, and the Mortgage Loan Originator. Each one works together to process the transaction. For instance, in an FHA transaction - Buyer utilizes a 3.5% down payment & Seller pays up to 6% concessions for Buyer to not have closing cost money to worry about at closing time - the Mortgage Loan Originator is working closely with all four parties to ensure the transaction is a success. First, the Buyer needs to have an inspection done on the property to find out what may be wrong with it, otherwise, it may not pass an FHA Appraiser's opinion of value right away. Once that inspection is done, the Buyer's Agent sends the information over to the Seller's Agent for review. The Seller's Agent then confirms with the Seller what will or will not need to be addressed to pass the FHA Appraisal the Mortgage Loan Originator has to order on the back end of the inspection report for the property in order to determine its value for the Investor. If there are issues with the terms of the repairs, the Buyer has every right to back out of the transaction. We never want to see that happen, but it could determine the entire transaction's health from the very beginning.
In another case of "togetherness" - the Seller is responsible for ensuring their property meets the guidelines for an investor to place a lien on the property in the form of a mortgage. The very first document that is signed other than the purchase agreement, itself, is the Sales Disclosure. This document - for a fee of $15 in Indiana - is then recorded after the Closing at the County Courthouse. It ensures there is nothing wrong with the property as well as informs on the current condition for tax purposes. Why is it important, you ask? Simple - lying on this form is grounds for real estate fraud, which can be a felony, which also comes with hefty fines. If the Sales Disclosure is not correct from the very beginning, we have attempted to dismantle the T.E.A.M. from the very beginning as well.
E for EVERYONE:
Everyone WILL Achieve More if they are working Together - that goes without saying. But what does "Everyone" need to do in order to make this happen? The answer may shock you - but I hope it comes as no surprise if you have been paying attention. "Everyone" should be forming bonds that do not break while the transaction is in motion. For instance, remember the Buyer's Inspection results from above? The Buyer will have formed a bond with the home at first glance, but upon further inspection, may have relinquished some of that bond. It is the Seller's responsibility to ensure that bond continues by coming up with a solution to the inherent problems they are facing post inspection. Through the work of the Agents on both sides of the transaction, this bond is put back in place with the home for the Buyer. Once that bond has been solidified, the Mortgage Loan Originator moves ahead in the transaction by ordering the appraisal and clearing further conditions of the loan. Together, Everyone is bonding. Not just the Buyer. Not just the Seller. Everyone -
From a Mortgage Loan Originator standpoint, it is my job to ensure the loan is completed on time. But, it is also the Buyer's job to ensure they have remained current with their debt payments, not changed any of their income status, delivered all documentation on time to me, as well as assisted in figuring out problems that may exist. In that process, I am forming bonds with the Buyer, but also with the Buyer's Agent. If my Buyer's Agent is well informed, he/she will be forming a successful bond with the Seller's Agent, who in turn bonds with the Seller. We all work together (Everyone) to ensure the parties are happy and excited about closing on the new home. After all, that is when the Buyer can start turning the new house into their new home. This makes the transaction enjoyable and memorable. Everyone wants a memorable transaction experience - as long as it is enjoyable and has zero problems! :)
A for ACHIEVE:
After we lay the foundation of togetherness as a T.E.A.M., we "Achieve" greatness as a T.E.A.M. by following the simple rules of Owning One's Actions I am about to outline below. Owning your T.E.A.M. actions means you are responsible for how it will function and what it will achieve in the end. The following is a list of what each T.E.A.M. member needs to remember while functioning inside a mortgage transaction:
- Mortgage Loan Originator -
- Should be communicating throughout the transaction - set the expectations upfront with both parties. Make them expect things in due time.
- Should be focusing on what is important for the Buyer - working with the Buyer's Agent to secure inspection times, results, etc. as well as ordering appraisals on time to make sure transactions close
- Should be considerate of the Seller's time - making sure when the transaction is ready, everyone knows about it ahead of time
- Should be listening to the Mortgage Loan Originator - making sure to follow every ounce of advice, including but not limited to -
- Keeping current job loan is approved with
- Not spending down payment money elsewhere
- Not incurring new debt outside of the new mortgage BEFORE closing
- Should be following the advice of the Buyer's Agent - making sure negotiations are clean as well as understanding some requests will be unrealistic
- Should never bad mouth, back talk, or otherwise get upset when the reason for the delay in closing your transaction is a direct result of a violation of one of the above rules. Not participating as a full T.E.A.M. member causes delays and frustrations that could have been avoided
- Should be listening to the Mortgage Loan Originator - making sure to follow every ounce of advice, including but not limited to -
- Buyer's Agent
- Should be patient - loans are not instantaneous, they are tedious. The worse the credit applicant, the harder the process will be
- Should be representative - meaning will take the bull by the horns on behalf of the Buyer and Mortgage Loan Originator to represent to the Seller's Agent and Seller their desires for a smooth transaction. The more cool, calm, and collected the Buyer's Agent is, the more relaxed the T.E.A.M. environment. This does not mean the Buyer's Agent can sit back and relax - they need to be pushing for the Mortgage Loan Originator like the Lead Blocker to ensure all parties are in the endzone celebrating a win in the end
- Should be patient - loans are not instantaneous. Buyers need time to work out their finances, but they need to understand their money will come to them in due time
- Should be willing to work the extra mile - unless a Buyer has unrealistic expectations for repair work, the Seller should be willing to make the transaction happy for the Buyer by completeing their list in the inspection report. I have found transactions with unhappy Sellers cause everyone to be unhappy - much like the old saying, "If Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" - well, the same goes for purchase transactions involving mortgages. It gets made worse by an unhappy Seller's Agent
- Seller's Agent
- Should realize their job is to ensure their Seller's receive the most money for their asset. After all, they have worked hard to build it. They need to sell it at a profitable margin because nine times out of ten, that Seller's Agent is also representing the Seller in a Buyer's capacity, too. It means more money can be used on a new purchase if the money received out of the prior sale was substantial enough. More money = bigger house = bigger commission check. I'm just saying. . . it's in everyone's best interest at that point
- Should be willing to be flexible - The most important aspect of a Seller's Agent job description is to sit back, negotiate the purchase price, fix the underlying property issues, and enjoy the ride to the closing table. The Seller's Agent need not worry about what's going on with the Buyer's loan - unless that loan has problems that just cannot be fixed. Trust me, no news is good news in this situation. When the loan is ready to close, you make every effort to close it as soon as possible. That is why you must be flexible, as the Clear to Close will come when you least expect it
M For MORE:
More. We all want it. Our society craves "more." But what does "more" do for you in a mortgage transaction? This answer may be more complicated than orignally thought, I mean, if you are achieving "more" by working together, what really are you "achieving?" I find that this answer aligns with the principal of "give and take." You get what you put into it, in other words. If we are to achieve "more" by working together, then we better be putting more into the team aspect of the transaction in the first place. Nobody likes working in teams where one guy does all of the work - unless you are the other part of the team benefiting from that one guy's work. Is it fair? No. Should it be allowed? Absolutely not. But does it exist? On a daily basis.
I find many of my team members during these transactions are leaning on me to throw my weight around instead of working with me to balance the weight distribution before the ship keels over. The "Achieve" section above highlights some of those problems I encounter with each party. Should you have one T.E.A.M. member talking to all parties involved and organizing all aspects of the transaction? I do not think so - because then you encounter conflicts of interest. Who's best interests are at stake when that occurs? It is certainly not the Buyer or the Seller - one of them is losing. That is why I condone single party representation. There is no room for negotiation. Do you want to achieve "more" by having your guy negotiate your wants to the same party, but then turn around and have the other party communicate their wants to the same party again? That's a circular conversation, not a negotiation. Chances are not good that transaction will end well. Consider receiving a diagnosis from your Doctor that you have a benign tumor on your brain. That Doctor then recommends surgery to remove it, but you know it is benign and does not necessarily need to be removed. You have no other Doctor to tell him your thoughts, so you tell him, yourself. Is there really negotiating power there? Or are you stuck with that Doctor's opinion? You need another expert's opinion in this case. That is what negotiation power boils down to.
We will achieve "more" by taking each responsibility as important as the other. One party to negotiate, one party to respond, one party to make the transaction follow through to the end. All parties agree on a closing date, one makes it happen on that date. We all are happy in the end.
Formally concluding this little ditty just does not exist as an option. Achieving More as a T.E.A.M. is an ongoing process because achieving success takes constant work. There are so many things that can, and will, go wrong inside a mortgage transaction - but, the T.E.A.M. actions together will prevent anything from becoming a real problem if it is handled as soon as even a hint of it raises its ugly head. The take away here is that you need to understand as either a Buyer or a Seller in a home loan transaction that you are a key component of how it will go. As I write this out, I have experiened the highs and lows of excellent and poor sportsmanship, respectively, in the last few months. My teams have had their ups and downs, but there is no greater feeling when they all cross the finish line in the end. Working Together so that Everyone will Achieve More is the only way to be effective in this business. Parties inside the T.E.A.M. greatly effect the third parties outside of the T.E.A.M. if the former is not functioning with the end goal in mind from the onset of the project.
I want you to achieve greatness as a Buyer and/or Seller. I want you to pick an Agent that will work for you, fight for you, and become your best friend even if you least expect it to happen. As your Mortgage Loan Originator, I want to send your loan through the best investor you qualify for, but I also want you to learn why you may or may not qualify for that "perfect" loan. Your dreams are out there. All you have to do is go get them. Listen to your Mortgage Loan Originator when he/she tells you what to fix with your credit. Listen when he/she says you are one underwrite from a Clear to Close and he/she does not have a timeline for when that will come out exactly. Listen when you are told to paint over window sills that have flaking paint - they will rot if not treated! But most importantly, do not think you are in this alone. It takes a Village to raise a barn - you need to learn that buying or selling a home is a marathon, not a sprint. That marathon is mixed in with a little baton passing as well. Each of us has our own job to carry that baton to the finish line.
Start the conversation below by sharing in your last home loan experience. What made the difference for you? Where did you see the most trouble? We want to know your thoughts. Share them with us - we promise not to laugh. Ok, ok. Maybe not if it's a real doozy. . . but hey, in over 20+ years of successfully lending money, we have heard them all!
I know what you might be thinking right now - "I'm ready to purchase my new home, but I don't know where to start." The answers to your questions aren't really that difficult, so for the next few paragraphs of this post, I will help you answer the basic questions all new buyers have when purchasing their first home. Some may be no brainers. Some may be things you may never have thought of before. All will enhance your purchasing knowledge - that's a guarantee. So if you're ready, sit back, relax, pick up your favorite beverage, and let's talk purchasing!
So you think you're ready to buy a home, you have some questions about it, and have no place to start. . . that sounds like many (mostly young people) these days that I come across on a regular basis. Today's 1st Time Home Buyer was born in the digital era. As a result, they begin to search for the "perfect" place to begin life out on their own online. When they've found a place, they get stuck - unless they're already working with a Realtor or they have spoken with a mortgage representative first. Why does this happen? Because the 1st Time Home Buyer needs to consult with a financial representative prior to even searching for their first home - with or without a Realtor - to be successful and make the process as hassle-free as possible from the beginning.
Just recently, I was able to provide such services for a client who was just nineteen (19) years of age! What a motivated individual to be buying their first home at such a ripe young age! How was this successful, you ask? Easy - because all parties involved in the transaction understood the process of how following the right advice would help my client reach their ultimate goal - owning a home at the age of 19! Here's a brief analysis for how the three parties involved interracted to create the successful buying experience:
First - as a Realtor, it is important to know that lenders drive transactions when hard money is not involved in the purchase of a home. What does that mean? As a Realtor, you should be aware that not every transaction is the same. Not every person you bring to the lender will be qualified. Not every person you ask a lender to qualify will want to purchase at the top of his/her budget. And, when a Loan Officer asks the Realtor to provide certain information, it is not because they want to just have an excuse for another chat, but because the Lender/Investor in the new loan asks for it. The Loan Officer/Realtor relationship drives the transaction as much as the communcation between the Lender/Investor and the Loan Officer does. It always helps a 1st Time Buyer to choose a Realtor that will be able to work with the Loan Officer, instead of against by trying to explain financial information they have no business doing.
Second - as a Loan Officer, it is important to advise the 1st Time Buyer in a manner they are most comfortable - either in person, over the phone, online, or otherwise. If this sourds like a no brainer, it's because it is. When a client has questions about the loan process, great Loan Officers are quick to answer. The difference between a "Great Loan Officer" and a "Good" one is that a "Great" one anticipates these questions ahead of time. He/She explains everything upfront
Third - the actual Client needs to be proactive to make the transaction work. It is important to understand the following if you are lost with everything else: The Loan Officer and the Realtor can only push the transaction along so far. First Time Buyers are either one of two things - motivated or scared. Case in point - I also at the same time I was closing the nineteen year old's mortgage was working on a twenty-seven year old's file when out of the blue, that twenty-seven year old decided they no longer wanted to go through with the transaction. I suspect this was because the Realtor/Loan Officer relationshp was misunderstood by the 1st Time Buyer. The Realtor wanted a budget. The Loan Officer gave one. The 1st Time Buyer agreed to sign a purchase agreement near the top of that budget. After seeing the actual numbers for that transaction, the 1st Time Buyer became frightened and moved on elsewhere. Because this client was scared, the motivation to actually purchase was non existant. As a Loan Officer, it is my job to provide the numbers. As a Realtor, it is their job to bring the prospective buyer to the prospective new home. The Client needs to secure financing first, before the Realtor shows the Client properties they would be uncomfortable purchasing in order to avoid frightening the Client away from the transaction all together.
I know you have had a lot to read and take in. The Bottom Line to take home from this message is twofold - 1. Get your pre-approval before being shown possible homes 2. Trust your Loan Officer and Realtor to work together to help you purchase that new home. If you have any questions at all - AT ALL - do not hesitate to contact us by clicking here first. Or, you should follow the orange button below to talk to me directly. I will be more than happy to assist you with your new home purchase. In fact, I look forward to the opportunity to serve you in this capacity. So. . . have you learned anything? Click below to get started today!
Spring can be a great time of year to purhase a new home. It can also be the best time to do a little cleaning after a long winter. I bet you are considering the former while doing the latter, especially if your home may be too big! Let me introduce you to some interesting facts below about the whole process of buying while answering four of the most common misconceptions about when the "right time to buy" may be.
First, do you know a great Realtor or a Mortgage Loan Originator that you can utilize to make this process as smooth as possible? Secondly, have you done your homework online or by word of mouth as far as what to expect and when? Finally, do you have a plan for moving? Let me unpack these questions and more that I see everyday in my quest to find people homes in the Indiana market.
Should I wait for someone to tell me where to get qualified?
The easy answer is always - "No." Why do you want to wait? Are you questioning your decision over and over and over again? That does nothing for you NOW! Whenever you get the "urge" to move up, move down, move over, or move all around - you should first contact your local real estate agent for available properties in the area you wish to move to. After you contact your agent of choice, call a mortgage broker. It doesn't have to be a bank.
We have all seen those Lending Tree commericals where the little green guy sits around in his boxer shorts, pretending he is shopping for a mortgage on his computer. He tells his buddy that puts on a suit to go to the bank that this is what everyone should do because it's faster, easier, and banks compete for you. It ends in an awkward scene with both guys on the couch in their respective boxer shorts shopping for a mortgage online. Why do you think this commercial works? Because with the advent of the Internet, Joe Consumer becomes more knowledgeable almost instantaneously.
So why should I start looking right away you ask? The answer is pretty simple: the sooner you find out if you are qualified for a mortgage, the sooner you can move out of your current housing situation and into the home of your dreams.
How do I become qualified?
Do your homework ahead of time. Check out this case study I recently had with a client that knew what she wanted, came to me to get qualified, and subsequently had one of the best loan experiences she will possibly ever have because of it:
I recently had a client that was awesome - there, I said it. I will admittedly brag on her for being prepared and always ready for my phone call when needed. How did she do it, you ask? She did her research. Granted, she is a professional researcher by trade, so it was in her blood to do it, but she came to our company for a mortgage because she knew our name, lived in the area, and trusted us to get her the best available product. I was able to do all of that, and then some. I quoted her an initial rate when we started the application based upon current rates of the day, but then when we went to lock in her interest rate, she gained a half of a percentage point lower! Wow! I couldn't believe it, but because she had come to me for a full pre-approval, she was able to obtain her qualification for a mortgage while she searched for an available property and while interest rates were at their highest fluctuation in months. Almost instantaneously she found a property the very day her initial application returned from the lender approved! This made the rest of the transaction super easy. It was so easy, we closed her loan three weeks before the scheduled expiration of her purchase contract!
Why am I telling you all of this? If only one thing resinates with you from this article, get this: You need to act fast in today's real estate market! Properties are there to be bought and sold, but some are hard to find. If you act now, you will be rewarded.
I Have Second Thoughts About Selling, Why Should I?
There is no better time to sell your home like the present. Even if you have thoughts at all, go ahead and do it. Home prices are driven by individual market. Each market is different. When viewing the national news or reading nationally covered newspapers, keep in mind every market is different. Your local market may be outperforming the national average, or it may be way below. Either way, look for homes in other markets outside of yours like Chicago, Ney York, or Los Angeles to make a comparison. Then look at the Indianapolis market. You will see that the MidWest is super cheap and the more highly sought after markets are super expensive! Supply and Demand drive home prices. It's simple economics. Right now Demand is supplying us with better home prices because the inventory available has shrunk significantly post the 2008 meltdown. There are many contributing factors to home prices. Let me list a few and discuss them now.
Number 1: Total Amount of Living Area
This truly is the biggest contributing factor in determining your home's value. Do you have an open floor plan? Chances are greater your home will have more value if the living area is open to all of the common areas of your home. Do you have a finished vs. unfinished basement? Basements add additional value to a home, but main floor living space is still where an appraiser will estimate the greatest value for the home. He/she has to make adjustments if your house has a basement, but no other comparables in your area do.
Number 2: My Neigborhood Has Not Performed Well Lately
That may be true, but did you know an appraiser has an adjustment radious of twenty-five miles from the subject area? Rural areas tend to get this exception before more densely populated areas, however. If your neighborhood has not performed well in the market, it could be due to the fact homes around your neighborhood are not built to the same specifications, and that has caused lots of adjustments to value due to non-existing exact comparables. When it comes to selling your home, make sure you have the expertise of a Realtor or Licensed Appraiser that can pull the comparables in your neighborhood just to be safe. You never want to out price your market, nor do you want to under value your property.
Number 3: Desireability
Is your neighborhood in a desireable market? If it is, only move out of it if you are planning to move to a more desirable area. Once you have found yourself in the most desireable neighborhood, stay put! Only move if you have to! By all means, never move just to move unless you have the desire to start fresh, or circumstances force you to. That is why you need a qualified Realtor and not just trust your own instincts - it is their job to find the desireable areas for you and find a buyer for your current place.
Finalizing the Process
Ok, so you have finally sold your property after stewing over it for months on end. What now? The hope there is that you will have some other property already found and a lender working on finalizing the loan so you can purchase it. But, have you given the above advice some thought? Have you been preparring ahead of time for the day when you buy your next home all along? Good for you if you have!
Working alongside a mortgage loan officer in your neighborhood is a great way to ensure not only that you are approved to buy, but that you did your homework ahead of time. It is also a great way to flatter the Boy Scouts of America and "Always Be Prepared." Preparation is key in the real estate business. Doing things ahead of time, having a mortgage company working for you that is detail oriented, having a real estate agent that is knowledgable of the area you wish to live, and always being available for when these people have questions for you or need documents from you like my example above will guarantee your next success in purchasing your next home.
I will leave you with this challenge: when shopping for your next home, call a mortgage professional right away to determine your credibility for taking on a new expense this substantial. You will learn so much upfront that the process will become much easier than you think, or what you've heard it is.
Divorce can be a rough time for a family. Mom and Dad are not experienceing the same marital bliss they once were. There is a chasm that is splitting two lives apart. If children are involved, this can bring chaos to a family that will never truly experience "normal" again - at least with their original family members. . .
(What a way to start off this post, huh? Let me further explain where I am leading you).
So what does divorce have to do with the mortgage business you ask? Homes are always the largest investment a couple will make together - in fact, purchasing a home is the single most expensive investment most people make in their own lives. When divorce is involved, the marital household gets divided up like everything else. For the remainder of the post below, I will explain how a divorcee can recover from his/her separation and purchase a new home to start fresh. Here we go. . .
First of all, divorce hurts. We all know that. But it can hurt less if the following steps are taken to present the best possible loan application post separation. Trust me, if your Realtor does not understand that divorcee's are different than traditional borrowers, your deal could be DOA.
You have to have a completed Separation Agreement/Divorce Decree in hand before trying to qualify for a loan on a new home OR refinancing the marital household to remove the other spouse from chain of title. Assets are divided (like I said earlier) 50/50 in the State of Indiana as long as what came into the marriage from both parties was not protected by a prenuptual agreement. What was gained while married by either party is also split 50/50. Obviously, you cannot split a home in two - that would not make sense - so whomever keeps the kids generally keeps the house as well. Typically, that's the mother. The courts do this so the kids can continue to live as close to "normal" as possible. Whatever "normal" they now have left.
The Divorce Decree will outline how the other assets are divided, who is paying what expenses for the kids, how the kids will be taken care of, etc. If the home is kept by one of the cleaving spouses, a Quit Claim deed needs to be filed on the other spouse's behalf to remove that party from any legal claim they have to the marital property. If this is not done after the first five years of separation, the other spouse becomes a Tenant in Common - and personal judgments can then attach as liens to that home. This can leave the spouse in the household responsible for debts that do not even belong to them personally.
So how do you get a Quit Claim deed prepared? Most title companies will do that for you if you refinance your home right away. It may be cheaper than having your divorce attorney write one up. Title companies are sometimes run by property law attorneys, so that means they have relatively cheap means of drafting said deed. After closing the loan, this just becomes another disclosure you sign to acknowledge consent. . . yada yada yada.
Where am I going with all of this, you ask? If you do not file your Quit Claim deed immediately upon separation of the divorce finalizing, you may be in a world of hurt that will stop you from any finance work on your home you are left with. You cannot even sell the home without the other person's consent. Would you like that? I wouldn't.
Divorce still remains a top contributor to triggering mortgage refinances. Interest rates can be sky high and this will still occur. So what do you need to know in order to streamline the process? I recommend consulting one of us here at Winterwood. Every loan and every family is different. The best thing to do is to take what you have learned here, call me or email me if you have any questions about how to proceed, and we will begin to get your life back in order. But, if you are still holding onto that Quit Claim deed from five years ago - go to the courthouse now and file it! If you have not begun the process yet, but will, my sympathies go out to you and your family. Divorce sucks. Don't make the aftermath harder than it has to be.